Have you ever felt discouraged? Doubted your faith? Just really felt like "what the h-e- double-hockey -sticks is going on in my life??" I gotta be honest and transparent with you, I have recently been discouraged. Only for like the past week or so and I just could not understand why. I even started really doubting that I could hear from the Holy Spirit, I felt so dis-connected in my prayer life, and yes, I even started to question If God was really with me. WHOA.. I KNOW! It's a little disheartening and I know.. I KNOW... there are many of you who relate to this.
So, what do you do? Do you stay in it and choose to wallow in negativity?? I gotta tell you, even though I was the star of something in my life this season.. my very own pity party...HECK NO I wasn't going to stay here!!!!!
So what did I do? I told God! YES! I am honest with Him always. If I can't paint a picture of "fake happiness" in my work, why the heck would I be fake with God and in my prayer life? LOL!! He knows everything anyways, so if I told Him I was just fine, then I would be lying.
LORD, you have examined my heart, and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You know what I am going to say even before I say it. Psalm 139:1-2/4
Keep searching for Him and His guidance. Jesus died for you, God sacrificed Him for you.. because He loves you. Even though I felt totally unconnected and discouraged, I kept listening to music and sermons and kept reading the Word. Yes there were times when I was like "really? Cuz I don't feel what you are saying in this song or verse.. like, not at all.. nope" That of course was my rebellious spirit, which I had to rebuke several times. I made it a goal to go out and meet other Christians, get invloved with churches and volunteering, get into a gym, and ride my brother's bike as much as possible. I kept seeking.
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
Then one day, I saw a vision of me walking on the beach, so I fasted and went to the beach. I sat down and I looked into the Ocean and I said "OK God, what is it you want from me? Why am I here?" THEN... WHOA...this is crazy God stuff... 2 guys walked up to me, they were missionaries, YES, they were from the Navigators... WHAT?!?! IS THIS HAPPENING? YES! And they told me to TRUST JESUS, and I literally cried... ok, I got teary eyed. GOD MET ME ON THE FREAKIN' BEACH!!!!! RIGHT WHEN I ASKED HIM TO! I WAS FLOORED!!!
Oh it didn't stop there!! OK, so this is kinda silly, I was listening to Ricky Schroder, of all people..lol! And he said this:
"When things are down, count your blessings, be thankful, and focus on the good things that YOU DO HAVE not what you don't have "
DUH! I said to myself. All the Joyce Meyers, Steven Furtick, Eleven 22 Pastor Joby, Middleburg Methodist, TD Jakes, Brian Houston Hillsong Channel sermons kept saying this same message to me over and over again and BAM!! There is GOD in front of me the whole dang time!!! He is always in front of you! ALWAYS! God is so freakin' awesome and loving I can't even stand it... well I can.. you know what I mean! LOL!
Can you focus on the good in your life during the off season/trials/storms??? Sit for a moment and meditate on ALL YOUR BLESSINGS! All the good.. Big and small.
He has placed such awesome and loving people in my life. My family.. wow they just are so loving and supportive of me, my new friends at the churches I am involved in, they are all being used by God to keep me strong and they don't even realize it.. they are all just being themselves: loving and kind. I see Jesus in all of them. Those are the blessings I have been given and they are some of the reasons why the Holy Spirit told me to come home. So that I could focus on PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME, and rebuild the respect of PEOPLE in my life and how important they are for joy... COMMUNITY. (Thank you too YWAM for that one) Jesus is using other people in my life right now, not status.... I am learning, and my humle pie is tasting better and better.
Is it possible you could still feel discouraged? I am still a bit discouraged at times, yes I will admit that, but I will keep my focus on Him. Because even when we are stubborn, He still looks after us. He doesn't give up on us, we do...
MY ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU:
Keep seeking! Even when you just dont believe or dont want to, even when you just hate the world and have no hope. When you are the star of your daily pity party, like I was, KEEP SEEKING. He is right in front of you. Jesus died for you. I hear dhtis at a workshop the other day at The Church of Eleven22 - Think of someone you LOVE with all your heart and soul...Would you sacrifice your child for this person? Heck no right? BUT GOD DID!! HE DID IT FOR YOU! That is how much He loves you! Stay in the WORD, get involved with other people, blast positive music in your ear, go to the gym, go wherever you feel good, JUST GO! Go and seek! We just tend to look in the other direction sometimes because sometimes we are looking for what we expect to find. When really, the answers, the treasures, are in what HE SEES and what HE KNOWS IS BEST FOR US. And sometimes, that is different than our expectations. But rememebr, His is alwasy better than ours. And I can't help but believe, and have hope, that even when we are completely stubborn adn want things OUR WAY... His is still better....
God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him. Romans 8:28
The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness. Galations 5:22